Goodbye, 2022.

Turning my back on the past and moving forward.

“In these uncertain times…”

I’m a child of the 90s. I grew up without social media and the internet was only introduced to me as a young teenager. Now, in my early 30s, my entire life is dominated by the internet much as everyone else. My work, my friends, my hobbies - it all relies upon being constantly connected to the World Wide Web. While the advent of the internet has undoubtedly thrown our society through a major cultural upheaval and allowed us to be more connected than ever, it has its downsides. I often find myself wondering if I’m just not made for social media.

So why did I choose a career that relies on social media?
Why am I still doing it, nine years later?
What would I do if I weren’t streaming? How would I say goodbye?
Is all of this just arrogance and I’m actually just describing normal human emotions but thinking I’m somehow differently affected?

Really hoping that last one is a “no” - maybe I am and it’s just a good reason for me to write my thoughts down here, in case it resonates with someone else.

I’m not a writer.

I’m new to Substack and I’ve never done a substantial amount of writing before, but hey - I had a Xanga and a LiveJournal as a kid (lol) and I always enjoyed putting my thoughts into neat little paragraphs. Occasionally in the past I’ve done blog posts that seem to have resonated with others, elaborating on my experiences and thoughts about my job and life, so I thought perhaps I’d start writing again with more regularity. There’s some sense of meditation to it that I appreciate.

My goal in the coming year will be to post at least twice a month and perhaps to try to make use of the other features beyond just written posts. I don’t want to make any promises because life tends to flow away from me faster than I can swim so I just want to keep my head above water. I think my biggest challenges will be 1) wrestling with my own inconsistency and 2) thinking of topics that people will actually be interested in reading about. Here’s where you could help me by telling me what you might be interested in reading about!

Anyway, 2022 wasn’t the best year.

Maybe it’s just me and my mounting depression, but the past two or three years have been a real struggle. It wasn’t all bad of course, I had plenty of good moments and things to be grateful for.

I had to cheat and use a photo from 2021. I just don’t go outside a lot, okay?

I don’t feel like I’m reading the news more often than I used to or exposing myself to the onslaught of negativity more than I did three or four years ago. Maybe I’m just more tired of it. Maybe I just have a lower tolerance for it. Maybe the past couple years have really just been that bad and my brain is responding like a normal brain should.

Whatever the explanation, I’m done with 2022 and looking to starting new things in 2023 (including this Substack) to give myself more variety and hopefully exercise my tired brain a bit more. I wouldn’t say I’m particularly “looking forward” to 2023 but it’s in our nature to enjoy a nice bookend when the opportunity presents itself. Tomorrow is technically just another day, the same as today and the day before, but maybe I can trick my brain into being appreciative of the start of a new chapter.

In any case, I hope 2023 is better for all of us because we deserve a goddamn break.

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